I read a story shared on The Crunk Feminist Collective  about  a woman who meets her sister for the first time on Facebook. Reading this story, all I could think was, 'WOW, What a blessing!'
I've never met my father. Throughout my life I've been told the story of how he met my mother, why he didn't stay. I knew he had a 'real' family and a 'real' daughter out there in the world — probably right there with him. But all I ever had was his name. A super generic, million just like it, pointless to google, name.
I'm embarrassed to say how long I waited for him to show up. I'm ashamed of how many times I stood on stages for award ceremonies, graduations, spelling bees scanning the audience for an eerily familiar face and an instant connection.
I can't tell you how much not having a father has impacted my life, but I will confess it's a very sensitive subject. Despite how much I've always wanted to meet my father, there's one person I would have liked to meet more — his 'real' daughter.
As a young girl, I loved her instantly, from the moment my mother told me she existed. It was a passing comment for my mother — one small detail she could give her desperate for information daughter. But for me it was a revelation. Somewhere out there I had a big sister. One day we would meet, talk, laugh — create our own family. It was a beautiful dream.
As an adolescent, I envied her. I imagined she must be smart, beautiful and extremely successful, that my father could be satisfied enough to not come looking for me. Only a massive failure, or perhaps a failed organ would ever move him to look for me. Surely he saw the early signs of inferiority when he first laid eyes on me as an infant. Next to my perfect sister, I reasoned, he saw no use for me in his life.
And now as an adult, I still have my sister on a floating pedestal. She's now my phantom opponent. Instead of envying her, however, my efforts have been turned to out-doing her. I guess a part of me hopes that if he ever does track me down, my success will make him wish he'd thought better of abandoning me all those years ago.
So reading this story about a woman who knew her father, but had never met her half-sister, I felt extremely connected. There's something about knowing there's a person out there who might look a little like you, or be able to tell you things about your father that your mother can't — there's something truly beautiful about that. There's a connection I feel with her, that she may not even know about.
I pray that through the Blood of Jesus I will be blessed enough to find my blood-bonded lost ones someday and reading that account of it working out for one woman gave me a little hope that it could happen for me.
While I wait on my blessing, however, I'll pray that the pain and envy that have come with the rejection of not knowing my father be washed away with the same blood that will bring us together.
And in case you happen to stumble upon this blog Mr. Timothy Carter, you (or your daughter) can find me whenever you want. I'm just a click away.

Clean slate

Is it because I spend so much time online, that the devil uses it to trap me? Or is it because I'm so rooted in Christ that I can see the attacks coming?  I'm thinking it's both! Regardless of the messenger, I am once again, back on a Facebook rant.
Today's ramblings are brought to you by young women with too much time!
So, my story begins on New Year's Eve. I, sitting in front of my computer, waiting on a late story for the holiday paper, was perusing through Facebook statuses seeing how my peers were ringing in the new year.
Most were cherishing time spent with their family, friends, coworkers ... but there's always that one.
You know the one. The annoying, unknown acquaintance who you couldn't pick out in a line-up "friend" who went to school with you, or before you, or just happens to be friends with 80% of your friends. This is a person you don't really know, but thought 'whatever' when their friend request came across your profile. These people are a waste of your virtual time and space. They serve no purpose but to add numbers to your friend count. You should delete them. I should delete them.
This is the lesson I learned in the wee hours of the new year.
So, I'm scrolling through posts of blessings and "happy new year's " when I was assaulted with a slew of expletives wishing a very sarcastic blessing to no one in particular.
I was appalled.
When posting anything on my wall, I try to consider all eyes that may fall on my profile, that's just common courtesy. But why in the world would you start a new year off with a curse? It was really not what I needed to be reading as I sat at work counting down the hours  until I could be with my family.
I know I shouldn't judge, and I'm not, that just really turned me off.
So I deleted her. I then preceded to delete other little negative Nancys.
My advice to you, cut those with no value to your mission out of your life. I know it sounds harsh and judgemental, but it's really just common sense.
If your friend is going through something, let them know that you are there for them, but if they can't bring anything to the table but hatred and self-loathing, you are going to have to take a break.
I felt better, cutting loose the haters. I bet you will too.

Thou Shalt not Facebook? Hold up!

Ain't that somethin'! My last post was about using your electronic devices to do Christ's work and today in the news I read about a New Jersey pastor calling for his church leaders and congregants to delete their Facebook accounts.

Read story on USA Today's website.

Call me millennial minded, but that is just crazy! You can't shun technology when your sheep go astray.
First of all, a cheating man is going to cheat no matter what, am I right? Whether it's an old flame on Facebook, a new flame on Craigslist (oh yeah, they've got em too) or just a chance meeting at the corner store, a cheater is going to cheat. What Facebook has done is made it easier for sleuthing spouses to catch their significant others in their dirt.
In my experience, banning access to social networks will just force a cheater to find another avenue to creep.
With that being said, I'm going to go out on a limb here and proclaim that Facebook is not the Devil!
However, I will admit that it can create temptations for many. My husband and I have had the i-talk about what is and is not appropriate digital communication. I'll share some of our thoughts and decisions with you:

1. Just like we tell kids on the web, If you wouldn't do it in person, it is definitely not OK to do it on the web. Sins of the heart and mind are just as hurtful as those of the flesh. Don't think it's not cheating because it was just said in a text or IM.
2. Limit your contacts to true friends, family, colleagues and networking associates. In other words, you don't have to Friend everybody. It is not rude to ignore a person who is not integral in your life. Is this a person you need to have contact with? If not IGNORE! That dude that sat behind you in 8th grade history is not going to be hurt if you ignore him.
3. Don't friend old flames. It's stupid. Unless your relationship began and ended before puberty, don't risk what you have. It may seem innocent to you, but your spouse probably will be jealous and hurt. Let it go.
4. Remind your friends that you are a Christian and they can't leave a bunch of racy, suggestive messages on your wall. That is not cool. Let 'em know.
5. Give each other access to your accounts. After all, if there is nothing to hide, there is nothing to fear.
6. Post love messages (clean ones) on each others' walls. You've got to let those home-wrecking skanks lost and confused children of God know that you two belong to each other and it would be inappropriate to step in on that.
7. Be honest to your partner. If you are uncomfortable with an online relationship, let your spouse know and try to figure out a way to resolve the issue before it gets out of hand.
8. Be honest with the offender. Please don't be messy, but if someone is sending inappropriate messages to your spouse, you need to let them know what the business is.
9. Don't play games online. I'm not talking Farmville either y'all. Don't use a social networking site to lure or trap your man/woman into some mess. Leave the stealth operations to the good folks on 'To Catch a Predator'
10. Use all your space online and in this world to praise and exalt the Lord! You can't go wrong with praise y'all!
    

Using your device to Serve Christ!

We've all looked down our noses at those buzzing, ringing and sometimes singing Sunday service cell phone offenders. Most rules of cell phone etiquette suggest we silence our devices or leave them at home.
But is it really so bad to use your cell phone or electronic device during service?
I can see it being rude to interrupt the sermon with annoying rings or vibrations. Also, checking scores and Facebook statuses are without a doubt uncool. But I think there is a place for my phonw in service.
Some examples:

1. Awesome Apps — No, I'm not playing bubbleburst during service, but with so many helpful apps on my smart phone, I find it indispensable during service. First of all, there's my Bible App. It allows me to follow along quickly. I'm not super Bible-literate, so it helps me track down passages quickly instead of flipping through pages, I can bookmark my favorite passages and even share them with my friends via text or Facebook. I love it, and it helps me continue studying Sunday's message all week long. I may not carry a Bible everywhere I go, but my phone is with me 24-7, so I have no excuse not to explore the Word with my bible on my device.
2. Notes — Ok, so this is basically anther app, but taking notes, making list and other reminders helps me to practically use the word after service. This week my pastor gave us 12 steps to forgiveness, I immediately made a checklist in my phone, something I have referred to twice already (It's Monday)
3. Status — I know, I said checking your status wasn't cool, but that's totally different from updating it! Sharing a weekly message with friends and family is an excellent practice of evangelism. We may not all be called to preach, but all Christians should freely speak the lessons we're learning on this journey. Hey, did you think twice about posting that latest viral video?

These are ways I feel comfortable pairing my faith with my attention deficit issues and addiction to technology. How do you use your device to serve Christ?