A woman on fire!

Working at a newspaper, I am rarely angered by opinion pieces. As a copy editor I've become numb to the ignorance, bigotry and gracelessness I often come across on the Opinion page. But recently the Lord lit a fire in my heart regarding the opinion of a man writing for a publication aimed at the black community in Southwest Missouri.
My husband (the neat freak)  has since thrown the paper out so I can't quote from it, but I'll paraphrase (as much as possible) without prejudice.
Basically the principle idea of the article was that in America a black man can't even pick cotton anymore. Opportunities are so limited, that "we" are left behind in the occupations that used to be the only things black people were permitted to do. He gave a slew of statistics about black men without diplomas, without degrees, locked away, selling drugs and lost to gang life. He blamed the demise of the black family, the black community and laid out everything black men needed to do to "save" the value of the black community.
So on to the fire.
Later that week, while reading a Walter Mosely novel where the central character argued before St. Peter that he didn't deserve hell because racism and classism made sinning his mode of survival,  the fire ignited again.
In the context of heaven vs. hell it became clear that discrimination of any kind was a tool of the devil. A tool to lead people away from their missions in life; a vessel for hate, an excuse for defeat. Hatred curses the hater and the hated.
So I became angry. I wasn't angry at racism, that's a hilarious fact of life; but I was angry that this educated man, was willing to dismiss me and my children as a lost cause because we can't pick cotton anymore!
What made me the angriest was that nowhere in this man's observations did he take into account the successes of the black woman. It was as if our high rate of graduation, our college degrees our six figure salaries somehow didn't count in the black community.
Let me just put this out there, as my grandmother told me a long time ago, we do not come from cotton picking people. As a black woman I was raised to succeed at school, at work, at home and in life -- not in the fields.
So what if the answer to any oppressed group was not to stop racism, not to find new crops to slave over, but to reject racism and classism, and sexism and accept God's gifts that come with being oppressed; resilience, faithfulness, creativity and hunger!
I am so hungry to receive God's Grace that I will push through any isms that might get in my way.
That was the fire I felt burning in me and I pray it continues to burn until the day I die.

Simply Cintia: Day 23: Encouragement

Simply Cintia: Day 23: Encouragement: "Day 22: Happy Reminders Archives: Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3"

I was encouraged by this and I hope you are too. It's not every day in our culture that we are uplifted by our peers.
So much of our interactions are competitive and defensive, so when I watched this blogpost of my friend Cintia I literally felt a weight lifted off of my heart.
It's hard to walk around with worldly armor! Unlike God's armor, which defies the gravity of stress, fear, worry and doubt, worldly armor can take on a literal manifestation in your life. Think about it, if you were a knight of olde, your armor would weigh more than you, it would need to to protect you from a battle axe or sword. The mental and emotional armor we wear daily carries the same weight. All in preparation to do battle with the world! But the Lord tells us we don't need this armor, it's just weighing us down — it's just keeping us down! We need to trust in His supernatural armor and take down our natural defenses. So take down the back-breaking sarcasm, the back-biting, the name-calling, finger-pointing, reactive, angry, vengeful armor of the world and put on the light-as-a-feather, loving, forgiving, uplifting, rejoicing, ENCOURAGING armor of the Lord.
My heart was filled with this message, just watching Cintia speak.
I was looking into the eyes of a person who genuinely wanted me to succeed in life — a person asking me to encourage others to do the same.
This is not an unusual feeling when checking out Cintia's blog or talking to her in general; she has a healing spirit that makes it virtually impossible to feel anger or frustration in her presence! It's like the woman breathes peace, and I thank her for those moments when she helps me to do the same.
Watch the post, pay it forward and encourage the people around you to encourage the people they encounter!

I read a story shared on The Crunk Feminist Collective  about  a woman who meets her sister for the first time on Facebook. Reading this story, all I could think was, 'WOW, What a blessing!'
I've never met my father. Throughout my life I've been told the story of how he met my mother, why he didn't stay. I knew he had a 'real' family and a 'real' daughter out there in the world — probably right there with him. But all I ever had was his name. A super generic, million just like it, pointless to google, name.
I'm embarrassed to say how long I waited for him to show up. I'm ashamed of how many times I stood on stages for award ceremonies, graduations, spelling bees scanning the audience for an eerily familiar face and an instant connection.
I can't tell you how much not having a father has impacted my life, but I will confess it's a very sensitive subject. Despite how much I've always wanted to meet my father, there's one person I would have liked to meet more — his 'real' daughter.
As a young girl, I loved her instantly, from the moment my mother told me she existed. It was a passing comment for my mother — one small detail she could give her desperate for information daughter. But for me it was a revelation. Somewhere out there I had a big sister. One day we would meet, talk, laugh — create our own family. It was a beautiful dream.
As an adolescent, I envied her. I imagined she must be smart, beautiful and extremely successful, that my father could be satisfied enough to not come looking for me. Only a massive failure, or perhaps a failed organ would ever move him to look for me. Surely he saw the early signs of inferiority when he first laid eyes on me as an infant. Next to my perfect sister, I reasoned, he saw no use for me in his life.
And now as an adult, I still have my sister on a floating pedestal. She's now my phantom opponent. Instead of envying her, however, my efforts have been turned to out-doing her. I guess a part of me hopes that if he ever does track me down, my success will make him wish he'd thought better of abandoning me all those years ago.
So reading this story about a woman who knew her father, but had never met her half-sister, I felt extremely connected. There's something about knowing there's a person out there who might look a little like you, or be able to tell you things about your father that your mother can't — there's something truly beautiful about that. There's a connection I feel with her, that she may not even know about.
I pray that through the Blood of Jesus I will be blessed enough to find my blood-bonded lost ones someday and reading that account of it working out for one woman gave me a little hope that it could happen for me.
While I wait on my blessing, however, I'll pray that the pain and envy that have come with the rejection of not knowing my father be washed away with the same blood that will bring us together.
And in case you happen to stumble upon this blog Mr. Timothy Carter, you (or your daughter) can find me whenever you want. I'm just a click away.

Patiently waiting

It's strange that we associate the heart with feelings. In all my years, I've always found the stomach to be a much more clear indicator of how I'm feeling.
Butterflies of anxiety, excitement; the sudden empty rush of fear; and my least favorite, yet most frequent abdominal indicator, the deep, heavy burden of worry.
I worry a lot.
Though God tells us not to, I find it nearly impossible to navigate my feelings away from the strong worry magnate in my gut. So today, for accountability's sake, I'm putting it out there. I will not worry!
In making this proclamation I had to examine the root of my worry. I came across one reoccurring themes in my worrying heart stomach.
 Control:
Often times when I'm worried, I distort the whole "pray without ceasing" idea into, nagging God about my problems. God heard my prayer the first time, in fact he knew about it before I asked. But when "too much time" lapsed between the question and the answer, the worry set in. And what I found is that I wasn't worried God couldn't come through, I was more concerned that he wouldn't. That perhaps I was in the middle of a learning obstacle; Perhaps the Lord had put me in the middle of a situation I couldn't pray or act my way out of, but rather pray and act my way through it. What I realized at this point was that, if I had the presence of mind to analyze the issue like this, then I wasn't worried about the outcome, I was irritated by it and the lack of control I had over it. If I know in the end everything is going to be OK, why am I so worried about the journey the Lord takes me on? I can't control everything. In the future when I catch myself in these times I'll pray the prayer of serenity

God, grant me the Serenity to accept things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can, and the

Wisdom to know the difference

Patience for the things that take time

Appreciation for all that I have, and

Tolerance for those with different struggles

Freedom to live beyond the limitations of my past ways, the

Ability to feel your love for me and my love for man kind and the

Strength to get up and try again even when I feel it is hopeless.

From the Word:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?"  Matthew 6: 25-34 

 From my heart: 

Lord I know I am worthy of your blessing and I know I will receive them in Your time. Lord give me the strength and wisdom to utilize your light to eliminate even the shadow of a doubt out of my heart, mind and stomach!

Clean slate

Is it because I spend so much time online, that the devil uses it to trap me? Or is it because I'm so rooted in Christ that I can see the attacks coming?  I'm thinking it's both! Regardless of the messenger, I am once again, back on a Facebook rant.
Today's ramblings are brought to you by young women with too much time!
So, my story begins on New Year's Eve. I, sitting in front of my computer, waiting on a late story for the holiday paper, was perusing through Facebook statuses seeing how my peers were ringing in the new year.
Most were cherishing time spent with their family, friends, coworkers ... but there's always that one.
You know the one. The annoying, unknown acquaintance who you couldn't pick out in a line-up "friend" who went to school with you, or before you, or just happens to be friends with 80% of your friends. This is a person you don't really know, but thought 'whatever' when their friend request came across your profile. These people are a waste of your virtual time and space. They serve no purpose but to add numbers to your friend count. You should delete them. I should delete them.
This is the lesson I learned in the wee hours of the new year.
So, I'm scrolling through posts of blessings and "happy new year's " when I was assaulted with a slew of expletives wishing a very sarcastic blessing to no one in particular.
I was appalled.
When posting anything on my wall, I try to consider all eyes that may fall on my profile, that's just common courtesy. But why in the world would you start a new year off with a curse? It was really not what I needed to be reading as I sat at work counting down the hours  until I could be with my family.
I know I shouldn't judge, and I'm not, that just really turned me off.
So I deleted her. I then preceded to delete other little negative Nancys.
My advice to you, cut those with no value to your mission out of your life. I know it sounds harsh and judgemental, but it's really just common sense.
If your friend is going through something, let them know that you are there for them, but if they can't bring anything to the table but hatred and self-loathing, you are going to have to take a break.
I felt better, cutting loose the haters. I bet you will too.

Accountability

I won't say I was raised not to judge, but I was brought up to be tolerant of others. I could never understand how we as Christians could be so critical of others when we had so much of our own crap going on.  As far as I am concerned, God is the only true judge.
However, in this same spirit, I think we, as Christians, should learn to hear the difference between a body judging us and holding us accountable for the promises we've made to God.
Right now, my home is engaged in spiritual warfare and while the Lord has armed me with a shield of accountability to protect my home, the world has twisted the Word to resist that shield under an accusation of unjust judgment.
I do think God has given us the authority to judge gently for the purposes of accountability, so that our brethren can avoid the true judgment by the Father.
Now I'm no preacher, and (ask my child) I'm no teacher either, but in my true know-it-all fashion, I have compiled a list of scriptures that touch on the subject.

1.  Galatians 6:1-2 : "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
   
   This one is pretty clear, we have been called by God to watch out for one another.  This is why we go to church, live in communities and have peers — to hold each other accountable for our actions and promises to God. 
   
2. Matthew 7:1-3: Judge not, that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.  And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
   
   OK, at first glance, this one seems to be against my point, but if you read carefully it's clear that this passage less an admonishment against judgment and more a warning against hypocrisy and a call to be prepared to be judged by the same standards by which you're judging.
   
3. Hebrews 10:24:  "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." 1 Thessalonians 5:11: "…encourage one another and build each other up…"
   
   An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of the cure, so encouraging each other to do the right things have more impact than waiting for them to fail after doing the wrong thing.
   
   
4. Proverbs 27:17: 
"As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."
   
   This is pretty self-explanatory, but I like to think of it in terms of a debate. Sometimes just posing a question, can make your argument stronger. By pointing out a weakness, you may actually be helping a loved-one grow into a sharper Christian.
   
5. Ezekiel 33:8-9: 
"When I say to the wicked, ‘O wicked man, you shall surely die!’ and you do not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. Nevertheless if you warn the wicked to turn from his way, and he does not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.
   
   This one really spoke to me, because I said it before I read it. As many of you know, I am just now beginning my study of the Bible, so I can't quote the scripture like a pro, but just the other night, engaged in my aforementioned spiritual warfare when I turned to my loved one and stated, that I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them and I hadn't taken every opportunity to convince them to seek shelter in God's Love. Then today, fired up and ready to blog, I came across this passage charging me as a Christian to do just that.

Ultimately, I'm not trying to encourage anyone to take on the responsibility of judging the world. We don't know what God is going to say or do to someone else when He holds them accountable or their words and deeds. So I can't judge my peers, my friends, my family. I can't walk around talkin' 'bout "Now, she knows better than that," or "He ought to do better," because I don't know what someone else is going through, not even the people closest to me.
But if I call myself a Christian and I see an issue that you aren't acting on, I feel compelled to speak to you about it.
While looking up scriptures to prove that I am always right support my thesis, I came across a poignant anecdote:

Two men were fishing in a stream when they noticed that a nearby bridge was falling apart. Every time a vehicle would drive across it, another piece would fall and the entire bridge would shake dangerously. Finally, after a large truck passed over, the bridge completely fell apart in the middle. The two fishermen knew that if a car came around the bend, the driver would never know that the middle of the bridge was gone; the whole thing could come crashing down, damaging the vehicle and injuring the driver.

One of the men looked at his friend and said, “We’ve got to do something. What would be the ‘Christian’ thing to do?”

His friend thought for a moment and replied, “Build a hospital?”

Thou Shalt not Facebook? Hold up!

Ain't that somethin'! My last post was about using your electronic devices to do Christ's work and today in the news I read about a New Jersey pastor calling for his church leaders and congregants to delete their Facebook accounts.

Read story on USA Today's website.

Call me millennial minded, but that is just crazy! You can't shun technology when your sheep go astray.
First of all, a cheating man is going to cheat no matter what, am I right? Whether it's an old flame on Facebook, a new flame on Craigslist (oh yeah, they've got em too) or just a chance meeting at the corner store, a cheater is going to cheat. What Facebook has done is made it easier for sleuthing spouses to catch their significant others in their dirt.
In my experience, banning access to social networks will just force a cheater to find another avenue to creep.
With that being said, I'm going to go out on a limb here and proclaim that Facebook is not the Devil!
However, I will admit that it can create temptations for many. My husband and I have had the i-talk about what is and is not appropriate digital communication. I'll share some of our thoughts and decisions with you:

1. Just like we tell kids on the web, If you wouldn't do it in person, it is definitely not OK to do it on the web. Sins of the heart and mind are just as hurtful as those of the flesh. Don't think it's not cheating because it was just said in a text or IM.
2. Limit your contacts to true friends, family, colleagues and networking associates. In other words, you don't have to Friend everybody. It is not rude to ignore a person who is not integral in your life. Is this a person you need to have contact with? If not IGNORE! That dude that sat behind you in 8th grade history is not going to be hurt if you ignore him.
3. Don't friend old flames. It's stupid. Unless your relationship began and ended before puberty, don't risk what you have. It may seem innocent to you, but your spouse probably will be jealous and hurt. Let it go.
4. Remind your friends that you are a Christian and they can't leave a bunch of racy, suggestive messages on your wall. That is not cool. Let 'em know.
5. Give each other access to your accounts. After all, if there is nothing to hide, there is nothing to fear.
6. Post love messages (clean ones) on each others' walls. You've got to let those home-wrecking skanks lost and confused children of God know that you two belong to each other and it would be inappropriate to step in on that.
7. Be honest to your partner. If you are uncomfortable with an online relationship, let your spouse know and try to figure out a way to resolve the issue before it gets out of hand.
8. Be honest with the offender. Please don't be messy, but if someone is sending inappropriate messages to your spouse, you need to let them know what the business is.
9. Don't play games online. I'm not talking Farmville either y'all. Don't use a social networking site to lure or trap your man/woman into some mess. Leave the stealth operations to the good folks on 'To Catch a Predator'
10. Use all your space online and in this world to praise and exalt the Lord! You can't go wrong with praise y'all!