Why, oh why, is this blog even here

As of today (Nov. 8, 2010) this blog will be a series of post following my journey in life. Don't worry, I lack any real Christian credibility ( other than loving Christ) so there will be no preaching, only reflecting on my daily struggles to be a good Christian, a decent wife, an OUTSTANDING mother and an ok person. Feel free to judge!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Patiently waiting

It's strange that we associate the heart with feelings. In all my years, I've always found the stomach to be a much more clear indicator of how I'm feeling.
Butterflies of anxiety, excitement; the sudden empty rush of fear; and my least favorite, yet most frequent abdominal indicator, the deep, heavy burden of worry.
I worry a lot.
Though God tells us not to, I find it nearly impossible to navigate my feelings away from the strong worry magnate in my gut. So today, for accountability's sake, I'm putting it out there. I will not worry!
In making this proclamation I had to examine the root of my worry. I came across one reoccurring themes in my worrying heart stomach.
Often times when I'm worried, I distort the whole "pray without ceasing" idea into, nagging God about my problems. God heard my prayer the first time, in fact he knew about it before I asked. But when "too much time" lapsed between the question and the answer, the worry set in. And what I found is that I wasn't worried God couldn't come through, I was more concerned that he wouldn't. That perhaps I was in the middle of a learning obstacle; Perhaps the Lord had put me in the middle of a situation I couldn't pray or act my way out of, but rather pray and act my way through it. What I realized at this point was that, if I had the presence of mind to analyze the issue like this, then I wasn't worried about the outcome, I was irritated by it and the lack of control I had over it. If I know in the end everything is going to be OK, why am I so worried about the journey the Lord takes me on? I can't control everything. In the future when I catch myself in these times I'll pray the prayer of serenity

God, grant me the Serenity to accept things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that I have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of my past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for me and my love for man kind and the
Strength to get up and try again even when I feel it is hopeless.
From the Word:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?"  Matthew 6: 25-34 
 From my heart: 
Lord I know I am worthy of your blessing and I know I will receive them in Your time. Lord give me the strength and wisdom to utilize your light to eliminate even the shadow of a doubt out of my heart, mind and stomach!

1 comment:

  1. "If I know in the end everything is going to be OK, why am I so worried about the journey the Lord takes me on? I can't control everything."

    What a strong woman you are, June. This thought literally blew me away. While we differ in our ideas about who takes us on our journey, I too know that everything will be just fine in the end. I need to stress less and enjoy-- or at least make the most out of-- the ride. Try as I might I can't control everything and I struggle with accepting that, though I must always be aware of it.

    I love the Serenity Prayer. Throughout my life I've heard bits and pieces of it, but it really hit home for me when one of my best friends returned home from a seven-month rehab stay. Whenever I accompany him to his AA meetings those words bring tears to my eyes. You don't have to be an addict, a Christian, or fall into any specific categories to find reassurance and hope in this prayer.